Goodbye to Mom Guilt!
So, to all the moms out there who put themselves last- Ask yourself why?
So, to all the moms out there who put themselves last- Ask yourself why?
I recently saw a post on Facebook that said the best moms sacrifice themselves for their kids. In the post, there was a photo of a mom with her 3 kids and a pizza pie cut into 3 pieces for each of the kids in the kitchen of her home. And it was assumed that the mom always puts her kids first even before he own needs. They eat and she doesn’t.
And, I was like say what!?!? What if that mom truly desired a slice of pizza? Why would she deprive herself of tasting a nice slice and enjoying it with her kids? More importantly, what kind of message was she modeling for her kids about self worth?
Any then I started thinking I used to be that mom- the mom who put everyone first. I didn’t have a choice. I had 3 kids in 4.5 years. I worked as an adjunct professor while raising my babies and didn’t have any family living near me to support me. I felt all alone at times taking care of my young children and super stressed out.
My mom died a week after my daughter, Sophia, was born and my dad died 1 ½ years later when I was pregnant with my 2nd child, Ryan. After work and being with young kids, I had no time for me. I loved yoga, swimming, and meditation, and going to the beach, but really the only thing I had for myself was 5 min of meditation a day. The only other free time I had for myself was in the middle of the night and that’s when I would stay up for hours working on Adi plate invention for Prodigi Kids. I loved every minute of my work, and I sacrificed 6 years of sleep to make it happen.
I slowly felt me slipping away from me. All the years I built up an inner reserve from yoga and meditation slipped away from me. I was depleted and not 100% happy. Sure, I had my kids and my love of Prodigi kids, but I wasn’t putting my needs first.
Then, one day as I sat staring out the window, I started crying. I wanted a different life for myself- one where I was happy and made my own unique contributions to the world. I remember putting out what I call these SOS signals- imagine a smoke stack in a chimney with smoke coming out of it from a nice warm fire inside. I yearned for a different life for myself- I was young and had so many more years to live ahead of me.
And, the Universe answered me in ways that I could never have imagined. Through a series of life events, my life was turned completely upside down and inside out. As I emerged from this chaos, I realized that this is my life, and I started thinking that I only have one life to lead. I started making more choices to make myself happy. I started swimming more and going to the beach more. I made some big personal changes in my life and learned to only go where I felt fully cherished. I guarded my time carefully and quit my teaching jobs which did not fulfill me. I went into Prodigi Kids full time and love every minute of my work in the world. I found that the more steps I took in this direction, the happier I became.
My kids live with a mom who puts herself first, and a mom who makes choices to love herself and honor what’s in her heart while also giving to my kids. I learned that it’s only from this place of strength that I can give love to another. I encourage my children to do the same and to follow their heart and do what’s fun for them.
So, to all the moms out there who put themselves last- Ask yourself why? Who am I helping by doing this?
And then make a choice. Your choice affects everyone in your home and our kids pick up on everything. After all, a happy mom is a happy family.
