Discipline and choice
the secret parenting “hack” you won’t find in conventional books
By Karen Braveheart
Share this blog!
Why discipline? The true definition of discipline, or teaching, has the power and potential to change your life and the life of your child in the most positive ways. Our blogs teach you how to turn any stressful interaction with your child into an empowering (and enlightening) lesson that will stay with your child forever. This is done by turning the stressful moment (tantrums, thowing stuff around, yelling, etc…) into what I call a “teachable moment” with your child. It starts with your choice to discipline and not punish aka shame your child.
A teachable moment is really a neuro-emotional loving moment, a building block that forms a thought and feeling of self worth in your child’s impressionable brain. Self worth brain building can only be done with love. That’s easy when your child is happy and “acting good”. It’s not so easy to do when your child is in the middle of a tantrum and screaming their head off.
That’s where Prodigi Kids can best support you. We’ll show you how to make it easy even in the most stressful of interactions.
Teachable moments are opportunities to reduce your stress as a parent and eliminate similar stressful moments from happening in the future. By teaching your child now, they will internalize their choice of behavior, understand the consequences of their choices better, and you’ll be equipping them with the tools to grow into a confident and independent person.
Definition of discipline
Typically, when we think about punishment, we see our child’s behavior as a wrong that needs to be corrected. Parents often think they’re disciplining their child, but what they’re really doing is punishing or shaming them. The origin of the term, “discipline” is much different.
The word “discipline” is from the Latin word disciplina, meaning instruction. It is derived from the root word discere- “to learn”. With discipline comes thoughts of instruction, teaching, learning, knowledge; basically, a student of education. It does not mean to punish, shame, hit, or insult.
Our Prodigi Kids Self Worth Parenting Paradigm is based on discipline, never punishment, and teaches parents how to use “teachable moments” to help their child understand the consequences of their choices. Instead of telling your child they’re bad or making them feel shamed for their behavior, you can use discipline to teach your child about their choices and consequences. Even young toddlers! Using our discipline approach actually makes parenting a whole lot easier and peaceful for you too!
Choice - the most critical step in creating a happy life
Happiness is a choice. The path to a happy life is to fulfill the dreams inside your heart. The most important choice you’ll ever make for yourself is whether or not you want to pursue your dreams.
Living your dreams provides a life full of joy and peace; while ignoring them leads only to misery and suffering. I’ve done both and can tell you with 100% certainty that happiness only comes from following the dreams inside your heart- not doing what your parents or anyone else tells you.
Parents- are you choosing to follow your dreams or ignore them? Kids learn from watching how you live your life more than any other way. This shows how powerful a parent’s behavior is in shaping the behavior of their child.
Why am I mentioning this here? Because a happy mom = a happy home. you’re happy with your life, then you’re teaching your child to value themselves and their own happiness. This is the truest kind of teachable moment. There may be a part of your life that you’re unhappy with- let’s say it’s your job, but you need to pay bills. I get it and that’s ok. I’ve been in survival mode before.. It’s different when you stay stuck in a nowhere job you hate versus actively looking for a different job or perhaps starting a business that you’ve always wanted to. The key difference is that you’re taking steps toward your own happiness. That’s huge! There’s always a way to make it happen.
The punishment model of shame based parenting is broken
Discipline teaches your child to make an inner choice; punishment robs them of it. The current punishment model based on shame robs your child of their happiness from birth. What is shame? It’s the feeling of being so broken that you don’t feel worthy of having good things in life- that you’re bad at your core, which is the root of unhappiness and suffering in adulthood.
Under a shame based punishment parenting model, a child is seen as someone to be trained to obey your rules or a code of behavior and is punished if found to be disobedient. This old way of parenting only leads to unhappy adults with unresolved childhood trauma.
A child who is raised with the punishment model looks outside themselves for love. They aren’t taught how to tune into their own heart and listen to their dreams because they are taught that they are bad for their behavior. They learn to reject themselves and distrust their own heart- their true, authentic selves.
Punishing your child shames them and teaches them they’re unworthy at their core, which leads to a lifelong negative mindset. They don’t feel worthy of happiness in all areas of life- your relationships, career, health, etc…
Under the self worth discipline model that we pioneered here at Prodigi Kids and developed over the past 16 years, we use teachable moments to teach your child about their choices. Your child is NOT their choice. They are NOT bad for making certain choices (peeing on the floor, smearing sharpie all over the wall, hitting their brother) Your child simply needs to be taught in a way that encourages them to understand the consequences of their choices and make better informed decisions next time.
I firmly believe that we need to raise our kids with self worth- to believe in themselves, their dreams, and their right to happiness. To do that, we need to teach them how to make independent choices and learn from their mistakes without being stifled by shame. By following the Prodigi Kids Self Worth Parenting Paradigm, we can raise our children with self worth, the main ingredient to making one’s dreams come true and leading a happy, fulfilling life.
To get started, We invite you to join our email list, receive our Self Worth Parenting Paradigm Ebook, and get our blogs delivered right to your inbox twice monthly! Following our self worth discipline model can be of enormous value to help raise kids with positive self worth!
- Do you follow the whispers of your own heart? This is your intuition. This choice is an inner choice and can only be made by looking within yourself. Here’s the critical part. Your job is to access the dreams inside your heart and if you’re not in touch with your inner world, you won’t be programmed to listen to your heart and show your child. Read the align section of our ebook to learn how.
- To access your intuition and connect with yourself on a deeper level, we suggest you mediate.
Less Stress, More Moments Tips
- How to cool off as a parent who’s about to lose it (and we all do!)
- Walk away
- Don’t talk
- Count to 10 before you say anything
- Ask yourself is the the way you’re treating your child the way you’d like to be treated
- Read one of my blogs
- A hug solves everything. Just hug your child and don’t say or do anything
- To learn more about the Prodigi Kids Self Worth Parenting Paradigm, read our free ebook
- Bring our products into your home that encourage more loving engagement with your children and support our mission to make our Self Worth Parenting Paradigm the norm!
- What kind of parent are you? If my blog resonates with you, then I encourage you to become part of our growing community of like minded parents who want to raise their kids to find lasting, inner happiness living their dreams. We’re here to show you the way. Join our email list here.
Share this blog!
About the Author, Karen Braveheart, CEO
About the Author,
Karen Braveheart, CEO
Karen Braveheart is an attorney turned entrepreneur and mom of three who deeply cares about making the world a happier place by changing how we raise our children. Learn more